Live life EXPECTING it to end the next day!!

Grandma

Tue, 12 Mar 2013 23:03:24 -0400

These past 37 days have been the roughest on not just our family but me in general. I get a call on Feb 9th saying that you are in a ambulence because you cant breathe. I went into instant shock, you dont even know. I mean the only thought i had was I was going to loose you. So, i rush to the hospital to be with the family and wait back on your results. When the doctor came out and talked to us, which he was indian and hard to understand, he didnt give us good news at all. He basically told us that you couldnt breathe on your own and that you had to be rushed up to ICU because you had to be on life support. Your daughthers, Cousins, and grandkids just broke down. So, we just the next ten days day by day. I didnt leave that hospital but one day to go home and shower and go to school to get make up work. I constantly asked questions, checked your blood pressure EVERY HOUR, checked how much oxygen you were obtaining and most importantly to just be by your side. Dont get me wrong, but, those ten days where the roughest time of my life and our families. I probably only got about 3 hours sleep every night and went broke on coffee and energy drinks. When the day came and you got of life support I was so happy and rushed to see you. You just had us laughing and telling us stories. They then took you to a old folks home and you been staying their for about 22 days. Then three days ago you had to go back to the hospital cause you couldnt breathe and had a panic attack. They said you where fine and were just going to keep you for two days to check up on you. Then, at 7:45pm, I get a call that your kidneys are shutting down cause you cant pee and this is bad cause that means after kidneys shut down everything else follows. Grandma, I cant loose you yet, I mean your only 64 years old and seeing you like this kills me. I know the past couple years, since you moved back to Dixon, I have hardly went to see you and Spent time with you. I hope you know GG that I love you more then anything and You are the strongest person I know and my role model. It just going to kill me to see you go down the drain the next couple weeks. I just cant picture loosing MY GRANDMA, my rolde model, my everything. Grandma I love you so much. Just know that is all I ask ok?

Love your grandson,

Eric Dean

@XhonorLily

Sat, 26 Jan 2013 21:23:19 -0500

First of let me tell you that I love you and I cant believe that you are having to deal with this. About a year an a half ago we became so close that no one can separate us ever. truly found my best friend. I know things are really tough in you life right now but I want you to know that I am here for you! I know I tell you this all the time but I really mean it. You are literally my idol, my role model, my insperatin, Id give anything to be like you. You are so fucking strong and I just dont want to see this affect you like last time. I dont know how you are handling this right now cause if i was you I’d be wrapped up in a blanket on my bed not being able to sleep, eat or even move. Like i said you are so freaking strong. I cant wait for the next four years with you at college and making all these memories. I mean to the road trips this summer, to camping, to the beach and hopefully Italy asap. I know that the time will come that Cancer will take over both of them but,like you already are, stay stong please. You are the closet thing I have as a friend and I couldn’t imagine your life right now. So basically all I wont you to know is that, even if it is a 2 am, call me and I’ll be there. I just dont want you ever to feel like you are alone EVER. You never are. I’m here to listen and just shut my mouth and let you vent. So, basically Im here for you no matter what! I love you best fraaaaaaaaaaaaand. Never forget that!

#FUCKCANCER

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Mon, 14 Jan 2013 23:00:39 -0500

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Mon, 14 Jan 2013 23:00:07 -0500

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Mon, 14 Jan 2013 22:58:09 -0500

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Mon, 14 Jan 2013 22:54:00 -0500

It’s funny how im always the one that is there for people when they need me, but when it comes...

Sat, 05 Jan 2013 00:21:16 -0500

It’s funny how im always the one that is there for people when they need me, but when it comes time for me needing them; their never there!!!

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Sat, 05 Jan 2013 00:05:54 -0500

xhonorlily: B/c BIFF’s the shit. <3

Sat, 22 Dec 2012 01:06:13 -0500

xhonorlily:

B/c BIFF’s the shit.

<3

xhonorlily: I’m truly happy. In the midst of all the broken pieces of my family, friends, and life...

Sat, 22 Dec 2012 01:04:25 -0500

xhonorlily:

I’m truly happy.

In the midst of all the broken pieces of my family, friends, and life in general, I’ve found a place where I can be equally content in the solitude of my mind, the control of my feelings, and the sequences of my actions.

A few things on my mind:

Thu, 20 Dec 2012 23:37:53 -0500

I’m glad we’re talking again.
I love it when you get all HAPPY!
I wish you would just choose which one you love
Your two faced
Animals are to much… need a break
If i didnt have you in my life I would be so lost
When you told me you loved me and we just “show it in different ways” actually helped me cope with the feeling I been feeling lately!
I wonder if its gonna work out
Cant wait for Disneyland
I cant wait to see my family
Want to go camping already with you
I wonder how you really feel about me following you to college. I think it would be best for me to have that support!

I really need to get over you now

Thu, 20 Dec 2012 00:40:09 -0500

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Thu, 20 Dec 2012 00:39:09 -0500

xhonorlily: Dying from finals, yo.

Thu, 20 Dec 2012 00:38:23 -0500

xhonorlily:

Dying from finals, yo.

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Mon, 17 Dec 2012 23:56:32 -0500

One day it will be me. May not be now or in the next ten years. But one day.

Sun, 16 Dec 2012 23:34:19 -0500

One day it will be me. May not be now or in the next ten years. But one day.

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Sun, 16 Dec 2012 23:31:28 -0500

glowpinkstah: nationalpost: At least 27 dead in mass school...

Fri, 14 Dec 2012 21:09:01 -0500

glowpinkstah:

nationalpost:

At least 27 dead in mass school shooting, including 18 children aged from 5 to 10: official
NEWTOWN, Conn. — At least 27 people are dead, 18 of them children, after a shooting in a Connecticut elementary school, making it one of the deadliest school shootings in U.S. history.

An entire classroom of children is still unaccounted for, according to local newspaper reports. Roughly 600 students attend the school and are between the ages of five and 10.

The shooter was also killed inside the school and apparently had more than one gun, a person with knowledge of the shooting said. The person spoke on condition of anonymity because the investigation was still under way. (Jessica Hill/AP; Douglas Healey/Getty Images; AP Photo/Newtown Bee, Shannon Hicks)

This is so heartbreaking

dustinmai: with no girlfriend.

Wed, 12 Dec 2012 22:34:30 -0500

dustinmai:

with no girlfriend.

Growing up isn't as fun as I thought it'd be.

Wed, 12 Dec 2012 22:34:06 -0500